The original intent of this blog, when I started it two years ago, was to reach out to those who will someday find themselves on a similar pathway that mine has taken. I have a lot of good and even great days now but there are moments when I can be overcome with emotion and a wave of unworthiness at the blessings I enjoy. I realize how much I failed. I realize how much I hurt my family and others that matter to me. On days like this I get pretty quiet and wait for God’s reassurance that He is the same yesterday, today and forever.
I listened to the words of the songs today as I sat in church and tried to own their grace but wondered if the people singing them would think those words of grace applied to real life situations like mine. It’s one thing to sing it but quite another to live it out.
Today I turned to poetry. It’s crude verse that I write and mostly for myself. Today it was my heart’s cry back to God. Sorry Pastor, I was listening but I was also writing. I will be thankful I promise. (proof that i did hear the sermon) Here’s my prayer today . . .for me.
I bring to You my brokenness, the guilt, the hurt, the shame;
I lay these burdens at Your feet, no one but me to blame.
I failed You Lord, I let You down, it haunts me everyday;
Help me to accept, Dear God Your grace, Your love, Your way.
I long to hear Your voice right now. Please heal my broken heart.
My lips will speak and sing Your grace, please grant me this new start.
As I face this coming week, may all my deeds be kind.
Let me O God, be more like You; please fill my heart and mind. — Wes